Praise God from whom all blessings flow!! My wife and I were challenged and inspired by the marriage and family conference this past weekend. Our marriage is a candle for Christ that must be protected, nurtured, prayed for, and exercised. We are so grateful that your church prioritizes marriage which is the foundation of society. God ordained marriage and our sincere hope is that the Holy Spirit leads and guides all who took part in this transformational workshop. We pray that what took place on Friday and Saturday night wasn't an isolated moment but an intentional deposit in the movement to build stronger marriages for the Kingdom of Jesus Christ! Thank you to the Seaborns for their transparency, straightforwardness, and reliance on Scripture. If God be for us, who can be against us? God bless everyone connected to Resurrection Life Church!!
Last Sunday at church my husband and I participated in the prayer chain for restoration of relationships. Not only did we walk through, but instead of ending it there we decided to continue the chain and pray for others.
My husband and I had a very rough season within our first year of marriage. We dealt with adultery from both sides, two big moves, and an extreme lifestyle change. We stayed together instead of giving up, but I feel like we were never on the same page. The last two years we've basically been just surviving day to day. Intimacy, connection, and understanding were basically non existent. We were constantly fighting and tried to keep our fighting a secret. We talked about divorce on several occasions, but both never really wanted to go through with it. I've asked for prayers from multiple people and have prayed constantly myself.
Well, after leaving on Sunday, something changed, and has been different all week. We stopped arguing, bickering and fighting. We have had our intimacy come back and our understanding for each other's feelings. We've been acting more as a team by helping each other. The old flame from years ago when I just met him has come back. Feelings of passion and love for him have been restored, and feel even stronger. I know it's only been a week but this time the feeling is overwhelming. It brings me tears of joy because I just know that God restored the love and passion we had for each other. I just wanted to share my story on God's grace, and how amazing, beautiful, and powerful God is. I pray that other marriages and relationships are restored and healed, and given back their passion and love for one another. Praise God!!
The past 6 years of my life have been a very tumultuous time. I met my husband about 6 years ago. We were partying, drinking, and we moved into together very quickly along with getting pregnant within 3 months of knowing one another. I was a full-time college student going into my final year of nursing school. We attended church but not on a regular basis, and then I miscarried. My whole life changed, my light switched turned off. I became extremely hateful, and turned it toward my boyfriend. I was angry, my vision was even dark. I'd lost so many people in this life. My dad was taken away by cancer and now my baby was taken away. I didn't enjoy life anymore, it was impossible to be happy, I didn't laugh anymore. I was focused on getting pregnant again but my boyfriend was not willing to try stating, “we weren't ready and that I needed to finish school.” All that hate just boiled over at this. How dare he! Why would he not want another baby?
We started going to church more and met another young couple who tried to minister to us, but I just couldn't accept any help or advice. I even forced my boyfriend to give me a ring to say we were engaged. So the boyfriend became the fiancé. I began becoming neglectful on preventing pregnancy we continued to live and sleep together. Of course we got pregnant again and I was thrilled, but I still wasn't happy. I was still angry and hateful and verbally abused the man whom I claimed to love. After finding out we were pregnant again I forced upon him a wedding date. We set one and spoke with a pastor at church. He wanted to counsel us and said that if he thought we were not ready to marry he wouldn’t marry us. This infuriated me. Who was he to tell us we couldn't get married? (I knew in my heart we weren't ready).
We had our beautiful baby girl. She was perfect, but life was a far cry from it. I was even more angry. I was hearing voices and showing severe OCD. After the miscarriage I bought a new car that I didn't need causing much debt. My relationship got more dangerous. I was out of control verbally and physically. I said things that were mean and hateful with no emotion. I never felt truly bad for the things that were said. I would always apologize but never really meant it. We married, but I was disconnected from him and my sweet baby girl. I bought another new car and then a new house. The debt at this point was consuming. I was still unhappy. I got some news of my health and was told if we wanted more kids that it needed to be now. Two miscarriages later and we were pregnant again. Cloudy vision and anger was all I had. The verbal abuse continued. The disrespect continued. I had no feeling. After my son was born I had no energy I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't want to get out of bed. The debt and fighting was overwhelming. I wanted to end my life. I told my husband that if it wasn't for my kids I would be dead.
I went to church the next Sunday and at the end of service I went up for prayer confessed the life I had been living and received prayer. MY LIFE CHANGED!!!!! The very next day I didn't want to lay in bed anymore! Our finances are coming back! I confessed and genuinely apologized to my husband. Most importantly God is the focus of my life! I’m so in love with my husband! I was just re-baptized. This journey has been tough, but how awesome is God’s love! God healed my postpartum depression and healed my marriage. He's so amazing!
So so God has been doing and working a number of things in my life as well as my families. Between working on me; discovering who I am in His eyes, trying to love me and see how worthy I am to God. I do still struggle with loving myself and being and feeling confident in my own skin. Funny how I didn't realize what I was battling until God started showing me. It's a growing process and only until this morning did God point out to me where I used to be and how far I've come. Another area is my relationship with my daughter. Teenagers are tough to raise when their trying to find their independence and all I want to do is protect her. I've been really relying on God to protect her when I can't and he hasn't failed yet. Recently I just watched the movie Grace Unplugged and I cried because it reminded me of our relationship and how God never ever leaves our children. Their always protected by Him, and I can be at ease knowing that. And lastly mine and my husbands relationship. This one has shown a lot of progress because in the last week or so I've seen a HUGE change in my husbands attitude about things. Granted there are days that are better then some, but when he's having a difficult day I've been that wife now that tried to encourage and support rather then tear down because I'm trying to listen to God as he's reminding me that I'm not fighting with my husband, but the enemy that's attacking my husband. If I remember that it makes it a whole lot easier to get through. I try and every day gets easier to remind him that I respect him even in his struggles. I tell him I love him too but boy does my husband love to hear that I respect him and everything he's doing for his family.